I'm a doctor, not a mechanic


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Some are UT related, some aren't. They're all entertaining though :D


What is camping?[edit]

The definition of camping depends on who you ask. Some people believe that standing still for more than 2 seconds is camping, and they'll go on and on that the reason they lost the match is because of it. Some people believe that finding a dark corner to hide in and shoot from is camping, and they'll go on and on that the reason they lost the match is because of it. Some people believe that sitting in front of a spawn point and instantly killing whatever comes out is camping, and they'll go on and on... you get the idea.

What isn't camping?[edit]

Basically, all of what I just described.

I'll never understand why some people think that the defenders are supposed to make life easy on the attackers. As far as I know, the only goal of any game is to win. In order to win, a team must do whatever it takes short of actual cheating (see below) to score more points/goals/kills than the other team.

Cheat: a : to practice fraud or trickery b : to violate rules dishonestly (as at cards or on an examination) c : to be sexually unfaithful

As I'm relatively sure that nobody is being sexually unfaithful to someone while playing a game like UT2003, the first two definitions are probably what concern us. "to practice fraud or trickery" is somewhat vague, but the second bit, "to violate rules dishonestly", now that sounds like what we're looking for. The question now would be: is camping (by the popular definition) cheating?

How can it be? There are no rules to violate on this subject. Standing still is not a violation of any rule, nor is hiding in a dark corner. Even "spawn camping" isn't against any rules. So, if camping (by the popular definition) isn't cheating, and the whole point of playing is to win by any means necessary (short of actual cheating), then what's the problem?

In fact, the only rules in UT2003 for example, are the rules laid out in the EULA as put forth in the manual. You're not allowed to hack the game or otherwise change the game in such a way that it gives you an unfair advantage. That means no bots and no hacks. You know what it doesn't mean? It doesn't mean that "camping" is against the rules. It actually means that "camping" is well within the rules. It also doesn't mean that a person is cheating when they use a transparent skin, or one that is entirely black. True, people like that are pathetic losers who have no sense of decency or fun, but they're not cheaters.

And if they're not cheating, then they're doing everything possible to win the match, and that's the whole point of playing!

How do deal with people who you think are camping.[edit]

Kill them. How hard can it be? They're not moving, you know where they are, so go and kill them. And quit complaining about it, you sound like a whiny, pathetic loser.

Yeah, whatever, you're probably a camper![edit]

Got that right. According to the popular definition of a camper, I certainly am one. I like to play defense. I like to kill flag carriers. If I'm playing a map that allows me to keep an eye on my flag and repel the invaders, then hell yes, I'm going to do that. I will leave it up to other members of my team to go on offense. If I'm playing a map with UT-style Sniper Rifles, or a Zark mod, I will do my best to get up somewhere high where I can pick people off. What's the point of having a Sniper Rifle with a nifty zoom feature if you're just going to use it like a pistol or assault rifle? People, if you're playing a map/mod that way, do yourself a favor and just leave and play somewhere else. The best players use the weapons they've been given in creative and effective ways. Perching on a high point and headshot-ing enemies from across the map is very effective. One thing I don't do though is intentional spawn-killing. That's just plain boring.

To the mapmakers[edit]

If you make a CTF map with only one entrance to a small room with the flag in it, your map sucks. Actually, for me, it's great, but as far as the Camping Crybabies™ are concerned, you're a cheater-by-proxy. You're making it easy for someone to load up on rockets, hide inside that one entrance you put in, and blow away any invaders that step foot into the room before they even know it. Don't do it. Always have more than one way to and from each flag. If someone is able to spawn-kill, your map sucks. Being able to spawn-kill means that you either have too few spawn points, or all the spawn points for one team are in the same place with easy access to the enemy team. Spread them out. Put them in different rooms with no line of sight to each other.

And finally...[edit]

Of course, all this has been based on logic, and we all know that the people who scream "CAMPER!" the loudest are the ones that have just lost a match and are looking to blame anything or anyone but themselves. When that happens, logic goes right out the window.

Try to accept that there are players better than you out there (and don't even get me started about people who Cry Bot).


GRAF1K: If you can meet their silly rules (while still winning), by all means do so!

Some things, like spawn camping, kill the fun of the game, but aren't cheating. There is more than one server they can go to.

Invisible skins, though, are the essence of "change[ing] the game in such a way that it gives you an unfair advantage".

Whiners will always be there, but in the end they're no fun to play against anyway. Again, there's more than one server running in the world. Just ignore whiners – that's always fun. ;-)

Solid Snake: If someone ruins gameplay fun I usually think that it is kind of bad. Camping can do this, but it depends. I like to guard my places, especially in bombing run but that doesn't make me a camper. Well, I usually make mods which don't have sniper rifles in them anyways... or at least with FOV alterations.

Rush in Rio[edit]

Q: Russian Rio... isn't that a drink?

A: No.

The rest of this rant is coming shortly.

Dark Pulse: Erm, OK.